The Dentist – The Ride

So I went to the dentist yesterday, nothing out of the ordinary, except for the fact that I got to go on “the ride” while I was there.  Have you seen it?  Have you been on the ride?  No, not the chair, we all have to sit on that thing. Which by the way, why is it comfortable when you are sitting upright and as soon as they lay you back you are forced to arch your back and be uncomfortable?  Is it just me?  But I digress, back to the ride…

My clearning was done when the hygenist (more on her in a bit) asked me if I wanted to have a panorex done since my records showed I had not had one done in the recent past (it had been 12-13 years to be exact).  Sure, why not, I had the time to do it. Up I got and padded my way down the hall to the room containing the panorex machine, here after referred to as “the ride.”  After I had taken off the earrings, the necklace and the glasses I was ready to “climb” aboard (in reality I just had to stand in place, but since I am calling this a ride…).  I stepped up to the contraption and was told to bite onto this little plastic bit to hold my head in place.  It couldn’t help by giggle (12 year old mind here) because the thing looked like it had a mini condom over it.  I’m all for hygene and I guess there really wasn’t anything else they could cover it with, but really, it looked funny.

I’m biting down on the condom covered plastic bit now and the ever so helpful hygenist told me to hold onto the handle bar in front of me.  Really?  I couldn’t figure out why, I was standing upright, I’m usually pretty good at this task!  But hey, she says so and maybe the x-ray won’t turn out right because my head won’t be in the right position if I don’t hold on.
Then…she asked me to move my feet forward (while she looked down to the place I should put them. My teeth are clamping onto this stupid plastic thingy, my hands are in place, how am I supposed to know where I am to put my feet, I can’t look down?!  It’s almost as though she could read my mind because the hygenist decided to be helpful and tell me to move my feet forward until I felt her foot.  Got it, now I have a goal and a position to get to.  I kept creeping my feet forward wondering when I needed to stop, I was starting to recline myself.  Ah, now I get it, hold onto the handle because as good as I can be at standing upright, I really do have problems standing at a bit of a backwards angle, and actually staying there.  I felt like I was hanging backwards, which for all purposes I was, by the time I was in position.

The hygenist told me the contraption would move about my head, beeping during the entire x-ray.  Okay, I was ready.  And do you know what I thought about the entire 30 or so seconds it took to get this thing done…OMG, do I ever had a big piece of sleep in the corner of my eye and I must get it out NOW!  Needless to say that wasn’t going to happen, I didn’t stand a chance in hell of getting it out while the contraption rotated around my head, while I hung on for dear life in hopes of remaining in a somewhat angled, upright position.  Yes, that is how my mind works!

That ladies and gentlemen was the ride at the dentist office.

Back to the hygenist…she means well, but the conversation was ridiculous.  Just a few cases in point…

1. She was asking if I got any time off over the holidays – I’m a teacher, where do you think I am going to work, the schools are closed and the kids are at home.  (It says this in my file so she would know this!).  Not to mention a minute or two previous I was talking about my principal and being in front of the class when she snuck up on me and scared me.
2. She was all impressed that I knew the name panorex so I informed her I have my other x-ray because at the time I was going through school studying some forensic science, to which she responded – “Oh are you still doing that?”  Really?!  See point one about the fact that I am a teacher and it says that in my file!

3.  When the dentist came in (who I went to high school with) the hygenist again (trying to make conversation, I guess) mentioned to the dentist that she was all amazed and impressed that I knew the name of the x-ray and when I last had one.  I loved the response – she’s a teacher, of course she remembers those things!

So the dentist, who sees me for maybe 2 minutes of my almost hour long visit can remember/read this, but the hygenist can’t!   I’d blame it on pregnancy brain, but I am pretty certain people who are pregnant can still read.

All in all, it was an uneventful, somewhat entertaining visit to the dentist.  I have to go back however because apparently my teeth sensitivity could be caused by my clenching jaw and my splint (that I wear only at night now) being out of alignment.  Me clench my jaw, never, how can you say such a thing (she says as she remembered to relax, she is on vacation after all!).

I’ll be back on Friday, posting pictures throughout the day.  (I know I still have another Vegas post for Photo Friday, but I really needed a break…perhaps in the new year).

Categories: Life

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